But in practice it is complicated and necessities a professional who understands thoroughly not just the characteristics of Aspergers but how they are played out in real life. They may hear a difference of opinion, or an attempt to explain a different perspecitve about a situation, as conflict or a criticism of who they are. Perhaps you are a spouse wondering if your partner has Aspergers, a friend, acquaintance or colleague of someone you suspect has it, or perhaps you wonder if you might have it yourself. Contact Us @ Pain Resource. I first determine whether it makes reasonable sense to undertake an assessment of Aspergers. [1] Regarding Autism Spectrum Conditions (ASC), the Cassandra Phenomenon occurs when the partners or family members of adults with ASC seek help, and who are not believed by their partners, family members, professionals and . Researcher Maxine Aston has described a bookend disorder to Alexithymia, which is the consequence of living with an emotionally stunted partner. Adults with Aspergers, on the other hand, dont necessarily lack self-confidence or are afraid of being rejected, they are simply not able to pick up on social cues. The term takes its name from Cassandra, a character in Greek mythology who was offered the gift of prophecy by Apollo in order to win her affection. They often dont come up while sitting in an office speaking to a professional and because the person is not aware of their presence its unlikely that person would volunteer how hard it is to understand them. Ongoing traumatic relationship syndrome (OTRS) or Ongoing Traumatic Relationship Syndrome (OTRS) is a new trauma-based syndrome, which may afflict individuals who undergo chronic, repetitive psychological trauma within the context of an intimate relationship. I will answer the question of how accurate a diagnosis is, the confidence one can have in a diagnosis of Aspergers and I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having a diagnosis. Most importantly, Aspergers is a form of autism whereas people with SPD have a neurotypical brain and have developed into a personality of extreme introversion and emotional detachment. AS adults often may have a very difficult time hearing negative emotions expressed by their partner. Completing one or more of these questionnaires can identify abilities, inclinations and behavior that could be indicative of Aspergers syndrome. Cassandra Syndrome Many of these women have been purported to suffer from "Cassandra Syndrome," a term coined by psychologist Tony Atwood to refer to women who suspect their partners have Asperger's syndrome, but are disbelieved, thus suffering immense psychological and emotional distress in their search for help. One husband observed: My wife is highly intelligent and quite competent in her field. Required fields are marked *. Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Relationships, Living with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Assessment of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Treatment of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). No one else does. Individuals with both conditions engage in repetitive behaviors and resist the thought of changing them. The advantages of having an accurate, reliable diagnosis of Aspergers are many. The public and professionals are becoming more aware of the impact of Aspergers on families. Their lives seem directionless and they appear to drift along in life. Having the diagnosis is a relief for many people. I will describe the types of information that is sought in an assessment for Aspergers and how that information is collected. Accusing you of abuse 2. Join our newsletter for the latest articles, news, videos & resource updates. It is pointless to blame the other person. Business, Economics, and Finance. One wife described her husband as follows: Hes incapable of seeing another persons point of view. Instead, they blame victims of their aggression, irresponsibility and exploitation. There is a big difference in how adults with ADHD use language compared to adults with Aspergers. Liane Holliday Willey is an educator, author and speaker. They are the type of person that is others think of as the typical loner.. Cassandra syndrome (married to someone with aspergers and *really* struggling)15. We work with what we have, and a diagnosis, either way, doesnt depend upon any one piece of the assessment process. Some people spend hours washing themselves or cleaning their surroundings in order to reduce their fear that germs, dirt or chemicals will infect them. On the other hand, people with Aspergers tend to focus on only one activity at a time, and they focus on that activity intensely with little regard for anything else going on around them. People simply dont comprehend the turmoil involved in living with Autism Spectrum Disorder symptoms. People with Bipolar Disorder (BD) have distinct ups and downs in their mood. It is often the case that a person seeking an evaluation does not have any documentation, formal or informal, that is relevant to the assessment process. For the NT, shift your focus from what you are not getting from your AS partner to see and value the strengths he or she brings to the relationship. In contrast, adults with Aspergers have more specific preferences about the kind of sensations they like and dislike. Do you have Aspergers Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) or know someone who does? Here is what you need to know when living with Aspergers spouse- Often people answer these questions based on what they know about Aspergers, theyve read or been told about it, or what they imagine it is, and what they are indicating in their answers is not a accurate reflection of the characteristics they actually have. Further, this article uses the word "Asperger's." The reason we did this is because that is the language the Cassandras use. Arguing Effectively With An Adult With Autism Spectrum Disorder, Changing Autism Spectrum Disorder In Adults: What Aspies Think, living with an adult with Autism Spectrum Disorder, social stories for adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder, traits of Autism Spectrum Disorder in adults, understanding Autism Spectrum Disorder in adults. How can you find out if you have Autism Spectrum Disorder? When your life-partner has Alexithymia, you can experience profound loneliness. They are consistently and extremely irresponsible financially, in their employment, and with regard to their own safety and the safety of others. If, on the other hand, the person engages in limited back-and-forth communication, attempts to make friends in odd and typically unsuccessful ways, and is not especially interested in reaching out to others, a diagnosis of Aspergers could be considered but not assured. There may appear to be some overlap between Aspergers and APD, but the resemblance is superficial. Chronic Pain. Asperger's is a neurodevelopmental disorder. In the meantime, I wanted to write about this According to widely-quoted statistics, somewhere between 1 in a 100 and 1 in a 250 people have Asperger's Syndrome. Individuals with Aspergers have trouble understanding how people operate but they do respect others, whereas people with APD have no regard for people. It only inflames existing resentments and increases resistance to change. How would you know? The first meeting covers general facts about the person, particular those relating to his or her present life. Dr. Kenneth Roberson is an Adult Autism Psychologist in San Francisco with over 30 years of experience. Are there disadvantages to a diagnosis of Aspergers? Do they qualify for a diagnosis of Aspergers, or not? Is there hope? It is considered a high-functioning autism spectrum disorder. The spouse with ASD must develop as much insight as possible into the reality of this condition, recognize the impact it has on the marriage, and cooperate with his or her partner in developing relatedness and mutuality. There are multiple topic areas, including in depth discussions for adults with Aspergers, dating, and social skills, but one thread I particularly appreciate is what's called the AS-NT Open Hotline. And if you are an NT, remember that your AS partner is from the AS planet. Perhaps you are a spouse wondering if your partner has Aspergers, a friend, acquaintance or colleague of someone you suspect has it, or perhaps you wonder if you might have it yourself. One highly important source are any documents, including reports, evaluations, notices, or assessments, that speak to the persons social, emotional, language, and physical growth. The answer lies in how much these characteristics affect the persons social, occupational or other important areas of functioning. While they may feel down at times or at other times be unusually happy, their concerns have much less to do with emotional ups and downs. Nevertheless, attitudes like this can arise when a diagnosis of Aspergers is made public. She is a former United States Army soldier who was convicted by court-martial in July 2013 of violations of the Espionage Act and other offenses, after disclosing to WikiLeaks nearly 750,000 classified, or unclassified but sensitive, military and diplomatic documents. People with OCD have better social skills, empathy and social give and take than those with Aspergers. Whether it is one spouse or both who have Autism Spectrum Disorder, is it crucial to accept as legitimate the concerns expressed by the other spouse. I am also married to a man with Asperger's Syndrome (AS). In addition, people with SPD typically do not show these features until late adolescence or adulthood. The characteristics of Aspergers must be noticeable in infancy or early childhood to receive the diagnosis of Aspergers. When I assess someone for Aspergers I ask to meet face-to-face for three meetings. I will accept myself for who I am. She was diagnosis with Aspergers syndrome in 1999. Are there solutions to the dilemma of Autism that allow two people to find the happiness and fulfillment they seek? Because Aspergers is a condition that exists at or before birth, clues about the presence of Aspergers are found in the history of the persons childhood. Do you have questions youd like to ask an expert in adult Autism? Is Silicon Valley a Breeding Ground for Autism Spectrum Disorder? What If Adult Autism Spectrum Disorder Is A Social Learning Difference? Marriage and Lasting Relationships with Asperger's Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) - Eva A. Mendes 2015-07-21 Proven counseling strategies that will help improve the relationships of In the workplace and in educational settings, a diagnosis of Aspergers can provide access to helpful resources and support that might otherwise not have been available. Asperger's syndrome (sometimes called high-functioning autism) is part of a wide diagnosis called autism spectrum disorder (ASD). They tend to react passively to difficult circumstances, as if they are directionless and are drifting along in life. I find it easy to read between the lines when someone is talking to me. Ritvo Autism & Asperger Diagnostic Scale- RAADS-14. 1 What is also necessary are skills in communication, handling conflict, showing empathy, compromising, and providing nurturance and comfort. Both partners must make a serious commitment to making the marriage work. They dont know how to act appropriately in social situations and thus tend to avoid them. The only way to tell is to be around someone long enough to experience what they are like, to see how they respond in situations that test the features of Aspergers and ask the right kinds of questions to clarify whether they have those features. Instead, their future will be filled with loneliness and alienation from others with no expectation of improvement. boardman crime activity; nsw freshwater fishing competitions 2022; sermon on church building project pdf; regarding community advisory boards cabs they citi quizlet The answer is, yes. The names "Level 1 autism spectrum disorder" or "high-functioning autism" are often used instead of Asperger's. It can be difficult to manage marriage . If, for example, the core characteristics of Aspergers lead a person to speak in few sentences, interact with people only around very narrow, special interests and communicate in odd, nonverbal ways, we can say that these are indicators that a diagnosis of Aspergers is correct. In addition, people with SPD typically do not show these features until late adolescence or adulthood. In contrast, adults with Aspergers tend not to understand non-literal language, slang or implied meanings. An acceptable explanation to other people about the persons behavior is now available leading to the possibility of reconciliation with people who have had problems with the persons behavior. Nevertheless, attitudes like this can arise when a diagnosis of Aspergers is made public. Lonely, hurt, angry, sad, misunderstood, isolated, desperate. Difficulty developing, maintaining and understanding relationships. While they may feel down at times or at other times be unusually happy, their concerns have much less to do with emotional ups and downs. Persistent difficulty in communicating with, and relating to, other people. Aspergers and Social Anxiety Disorder share the common element of discomfort in social situations. It is one of the most humiliating responses for NT-spouses, when they are not taken seriously by others. Understanding why she chose her partner with AS is an important step toward becoming self-aware and making changes in her own behavior. How I Survive An Asperger's Marriage. When someone with Bipolar Disorder is in a manic state or depressed they may not interact socially as they might if they were feeling normal, they might be withdrawn, lack much emotional response to situations in their life and lose interest in relationships but the changes in their emotional condition is much different than people with Aspergers. as someone living with Asperger's Syndrome, a mild form of autism, in an effort to help others with the disease learn to cope and thrive. It is difficult for me to understand how other people are feeling when we are talking. It's so beautiful, so wonderful, it takes your breath away. Clear evidence that these characteristics are not caused by low intelligence or broad, across-the-board delays in overall development. They may interrupt and say things without regard for whatever else is going on but it is because they dont understand how conversations are carried out rather than not being able to restrain themselves. Poor nonverbal communication, which translates into poor eye contact, unusual body language, inappropriate gestures and facial expressions. Celebrate the diversity and the differences. One in two-hundred and fifty people has Asperger's Syndrome. Original. They tend to react passively to difficult circumstances, as if they are directionless and are drifting along in life. Diagnoses are most valid and accurate when they are based on multiple sources of information. They may talk a lot and have more one-sided conversations as do adults with ADHD but they do so because lacking an understanding of how the person they are talking to is grasping what they are saying they are, in effect, talking to themselves. I find it difficult to imagine what it would be like to be someone else. They can consider what other people are thinking much easier than adults with Aspergers and they participate in the give-and-take of social interactions more readily. Do you have questions youd like to ask an expert in adult Aspergers? There is test yet developed that can be used to make a diagnosis of Aspergers, no instrument that measures Aspergers nor any procedure that can objectively sort out those with Aspergers from those without it. Of course, it is possible that people in someones life will react to the diagnosis of Aspergers by alienating themselves from that person. Examples of these are insisting on inflexible routines, eating the same foods daily, brushing teeth the same way, following the same route every day, repeatedly rejecting changes in ones life style, being either very reactive or hardly reactive at all to changes in ones environment like indifference to temperature changes, hypersensitivity to sounds, fascination with lights or movement. It occurs to the person that these intrusive thoughts are the produce of his or her own mind but they cant be stopped. For the purposes of this article, I am going to cover the subject of Aspie-NT (one adult with Asperger's and one adult who is Neurotypical). They may talk a lot and have more one-sided conversations as do adults with ADHD but they do so because lacking an understanding of how the person they are talking to is grasping what they are saying they are, in effect, talking to themselves. Relying on a spouses or friends report about how someone recognizes emotions is not always advisable since those reports are filtered through the spouse or friends own biases and their own ways of understanding emotions. Hes unable to make obvious inferences in a conversation, instead insisting that others are not being clear. Can they have intimate relationships & be successful parents? And to attempt to tell her story to her . Some people receive a diagnosis of Aspergers with discouragement and disapproval, believing they necessarily will be severely limited in how they can lead their lives. Persistent difficulty in communicating with, and relating to, other people. I will be patient with those who need time to understand me. Just a note, in the past Asperger's disorder was considered a "mild" type of autism, but since 2013, when a new classification called Autism Spectrum Condition/Disorder (ASC/ASD) was created in the DSMV, Asperger's is no longer a correct clinical term, but is now included in the Autism Spectrum. At one point, they will have extreme energy, be unusually happy, energetic, talkative, feel wonderful about themselves and on top of the world, have little need for sleep, be drawn to unimportant or irrelevant activities, and generally act unlike themselves. Focusing on what is referred to as the Cassandra phenomenon, where the neurotypical partner often needs more emotional guidance . For example, someone with Aspergers can be quite intelligent and have mastery over numerous facts, yet have much less comprehension emotions and how they are expressed. They have few friends, date infrequently if at all, and often have trouble in work settings where involvement with other people is necessary. Esoteric as Asperger's Syndrome (14) may sound, there are many parents suffering with neurological disorders of various kinds. Lots of people dont pay much attention to whether people are listening to them, but that doesnt mean they have Aspergers. A Call for New Measures of Aspergers and Schizotypy. With this in mind, what is the actual process of finding out whether someone has Aspergers? Job discrimination is a realistic possibility in the event that an applicant reveals an Aspergers diagnosis. And the AS person will have a hard time understanding his/her impact on the NT individual. These differences . It is commonly assumed that Aspergers makes someone too difficult to be around, unable to get along with people, too narrowly focused on their own interests, and too stubborn, self-absorbed and lacking in empathy to be a contributing member of society, a view that is narrow in its own right and sadly mistaken in many cases. Your email address will not be published. Do they qualify for a diagnosis of Aspergers, or not? She has a remarkable memory, is able to converse in detail about a wide range of subjects, is outgoing and adventurous, and has a quirky but engaging sense of humor. People with Bipolar Disorder (BD) have distinct ups and downs in their mood. The questionnaires and scales for adults are as follows, in alphabetical order: These questionnaires indicate whether a person has characteristics that match those of people with Aspergers but that, in and of itself, doesnt prove someone has or doesnt have Aspergers. They can consider what other people are thinking much easier than adults with Aspergers and they participate in the give-and-take of social interactions more readily. Symptoms of Cassandra Syndrome may include: Craving for carbohydrates and sweet foods Decreased interest in sex and physical contact Desire to oversleep and difficulty staying awake Disturbed sleep and early morning wakening Domestic abuse (emotional and/or physical) Extremes of mood and short periods of hypomania (over activity) Fatigue Cassandra Syndrome is what a woman married to an Asperger (AS) man experiences through psychological and emotional distress. An example is previous medical reports documenting signs of early language delays and/or peculiarities, coordination problems, behavioral difficulties or unusual physical problems. They get distracted easily and jump from one interest or activity to another. I am a clinical psychologist in San Francisco with 30 years of experience evaluating and treating adults with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). First, I explain that certain characteristics are central to Aspergers syndrome. Cassandra Syndrome My husband has Asperger Syndrome ( AS), making us a Neurodiverse Couple. Finding common ground is a key to success. He refuses to make eye contact with anyone. There has to be reduced sharing of interests and a lack of emotional give-and-take. I want to find out about the persons significant relationships, whether they are friends, work colleagues, spouse or partner, children or anyone else with whom the person interacts regularly. While it is not legally acceptable to do so, we know that silent discrimination happens, hiring decisions are not always made public and competition can leave someone with a different profile out of the picture. A diagnosis is most assured when the signs of Aspergers are present in the person all the time, they have an obvious effect on the persons ability to be successful in life, and dont vary much. What therapy is best for adults who have Autism Spectrum Disorder? It very well might be that some other condition is the real problem or, more likely, two or more conditions are overlapping. Damage to ones self-esteem as a result of disapproval, ridicule, discrimination and rejection is possible when knowledge of an Aspergers diagnosis is disseminated. With this in mind, what is the actual process of finding out whether someone has Aspergers? As an NT individual, you will need to shift from "what is wrong" about your partner and the relationship, to "what is right."
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